When people come to see me as a pet loss and bereavement counselor, often the emotion of guilt is one of the primary feelings they are suffering from. Did I do the right thing? Make the right decisions? Should I have waited longer to help my pet cross over? Should I have helped them sooner? I wish I hadn’t done euthanasia. Could this tragedy or accident have been avoided? Is this my fault?
It doesn’t matter whether our beloved pet went through a long, lengthy illness, or died suddenly, we often question ourselves. Why? Because we loved them so much.
Some words on Euthanasia
Euthanasia is actually the Greek word for ‘good death.’ It is an excruciating and impossible decision we are often called upon to make to end the suffering of our beloved pet who has no chance of survival, although it contradicts every instinct we have. We have been stewards for our beloved pet, taking care of their every need, keeping them safe and healthy.
It can be so scary to be out of control of their destiny… to know there is nothing we can do. In general, as long as we think of the wellbeing of our beloved pet, our intention is loving and pure, it’s impossible to make the wrong decision. Trust that you made the right decision with the information you had for your pet’s well being. That’s all any of us can do.
Mourning our Beloved Pet
It’s natural to mourn those we have loved and loss. Sometimes though we unconsciously feel that by our extended suffering, we are honoring our beloved pet. We are staying close to them somehow by being sad; that if we laugh or feel better, they are not being honored, or their spiritual presence is leaving us. Almost as though by not grieving as intensely as perhaps we did when they first died, we are betraying them, trying to forget them. We will never forget our beloved pets.
Over our lifetime, we may have moments we remember them and feel weepy, miss them. We will always love them because love never dies. Somehow however, we get through it. We begin to remember them with more love than pain. And I do believe our beloved pets would want us to continue to live, and love, and experience joy in their name.
Patricia Lee Rode is a pet loss and bereavement counselor living in Rockland, ME. She sees clients in person, via telephone or Zoom.
